A Day In The Life
by BeautifulSurvivor
Summary: A day in the life of each team member. A series of oneshots. Language, pranks, and general hijinks make the rating T.


**A Day in the Life**

**Hey Guys!**

**So I was doing homework and this idea came to me: What if we had an agenda of all the things each team member did during a day? And so I wrote this. The first one will be Kaldur, and the next will be up to you. **

**~BeautifulSurvivor**

* * *

A Day in the Life of a Stoic:

4:00 am - Wake up to screeching. Run out of my room, and find Artemis covered in cherry jello and Wally on the floor, laughing. I hide my own laughter.

4:05 am - Pull Artemis off Wally, and put both back in their rooms. Sigh. I head back to my room.

4:16 am - Open my door. A bucket of cherry jello is dropped on my head. Fuck.

4:30 am - Go back to sleep. Screw the jello.

7:45 am - Wake up for real. Yawn, stretch, and wonder what I could do to convince Batman to flood my room.

7:46 am - Dismiss idea. Drag myself out of bed. Realize I am still covered in jello.

7:50 am - Debate whether or not to get revenge on Wally. Dismiss idea. It's too petty. I must be stoic, like Mother says.

7:51 am - Realize I am a momma's boy. F- wait, Mother wouldn't want me to say that.

8:10 am - Cautiously stick my head out the door. Look all around, then realize I look like an idiot. Retract head. Carefully walk into hallway, and down to the kitchen.

8:15 am - Arrive in kitchen. Nod to Robin, Superboy, M'gann, and Zatanna. Give the evil eye to Wally and Artemis.

8:40 am - Finish scarfing down M'gann's burned pancakes. Vow to make breakfast from now on. As well as all meals. Until forever.

9:00 am - Take a swim in the ocean. Free a couple of dolphins and a sea turtle from a fishing net.

9:02 am - A dolphin makes me promise that I will ".-%$&!" or, in English, "Slaughter the boats and feed the scraps to a dragon." I had no idea dolphin were so vicious.

9:05 am - Wonder where the dolphin expects me to find a dragon.

10:30 am - Swim back to shore. Find Robin waiting for me on the beach, practically jumping up and down. Repress my anxiety.

10:35 am - Robin tells me that Batman wants to see me. For some reason, this makes the boy gleeful. Repress the urge to swear until my tongue falls out.

10:50 am - See Batman. Covered in jello. Regret that I didn't take revenge on Wally. Why, dear gods, why?

11:05 am - Finish getting yelled at. Sigh. Batman gives me the bat-glare one more time, then bat-walks away, shedding bat-jelly.

11:10 am - Rocket zeta-beams in as I'm washing jello off the floor. I duck my head. She seems way too interested in me for my own good.

11:11 am - Rocket comes over and sits next me, and I think about a certain redhead. FML.

11:12 am - Realize I could be thinking about Roy or Wally or the Flash. I'm thinking about Tula, for your information.

11:13 am - Wonder how Roy's date is going. Her name was Jade, I think? I don't care enough to remember.

11:16 am - Rocket realizes I'm not going to respond. She walks away in a huff.

11:30 am - Finish cleaning the jello. Go to the kitchen, to find someone to spar with.

11:40 am - Artemis begs me to let her teach me archery. I say yes. This was a bad idea.

11:47 am - Rocket gives Artemis a dirty glare, and Zatanna jumps out from behind a door, giggles, and clings to my arm. What the heck is going on?

11:50 am - We arrive at the training room. The girls huddle together and whisper. They are strange creatures.

12:00 pm - Artemis and Zatanna remember I exist. Artemis hands me a bow, and asks how oblivious I am. I do not respond.

12:03 pm - Zatanna tells me Rocket has a crush on me. I tell them I am not interested. Apparently they already knew this. I am even more confused than before.

12:36 pm - Artemis gives up on me. Zatanna asks if she and Artemis can go to Paris to shop. Artemis promises to help me with Rocket. I let them go. Hopefully Batman will not find out.

12:54 pm - I see Artemis and Zatanna off, and go to read. Finally.

1:07 pm - M'gann and Conner seem to have taken up residence in the library. I take the quickest u-turn of my life and decide to find Robin and Wally.

1:28 pm - Find Robin and Wally eating ice cream in the kitchen, throwing M&Ms at each other. I stand by and watch, stifling my laughter.

1:35 pm - Wally decides I am an easier target than Robin, and starts pelting me with candy. I stand and endure.

1:45 pm - The boys get bored. Wally asks where Artemis is. Robin and I exchange glances. I tell them that Artemis and Zatanna went to Paris. Robin laughs, and Wally sulks.

2:02 pm - Robin offers to wipe their journey from the hard drive. I agree. Wally suggests we go find them. I strongly disagree. He argues back.

2:15 pm - I win.

2:22 pm - We go out to the beach and play volleyball. I am put on my own team, because Roy is coming and Wally and Robin can't bear to be separated for more than 5 minutes.

2:40 pm - Roy shows up, with lipstick on his cheek. I advise him to wipe it off.

2:41 pm - Roy blushes very, very red.

3:10 pm - Robin and Wally are declared the winners. I let them win. Obviously.

3:20 pm - I fend off an advance from Rocket. Roy laughs at me.

3:22 pm - I smack Roy. He smacks me back. We decide to go fight it out, since we have nothing better to do.

3:40 pm - I tell Roy I do not like Rocket as I slam him into the ground. He tells me that's not what is funny, since he knows that. I am confused.

3:44 pm - I ask Roy how lunch was. He punches me, blushing red again. I smirk.

4:00 pm - We decide we have trained enough for the day. Roy leaves to go get ready for another date this evening. Same girl. I suggest he clean his bedroom, and maybe get some febreeze. He makes a face.

4:05 pm - Roy leaves.

4:16 pm - I wonder when Artemis and Zatanna are going to come back. Rocket ambushes me (again), and I ask her. She asks where they are. I tell her Paris.

4:18 pm - I did not know Rocket's face could twist that way.

4:20 pm - She asks why they are in Paris, and I tell her they wanted to go shopping. Apparently she did not know this. She must become much better at eavesdropping if she going to keep up on this team.

4:21 pm - I walk away when Rocket tells me that she would go there with me. I wish the girls were here so I could ask them what the heck she means by that.

4:30 pm - I decide to check the library again. Maybe M'gann and Conner have moved.

4:42 pm - Nope.

5:07 pm - I decide to call the girls. Red Tornado will be checking on us soon.

5:10 pm - I call the girls. They promise to be home at 5:30, with presents.

5:13 pm - I am secretly excited for my present. I go to find Wally and Robin to tell them.

5:25 pm - Wally and Robin are nowhere to be found, and I start to panic. I wish Rocket were as easy to lose. She is acts very strange.

5:29 pm - Find Wally and Robin in an air vent, putting glitter in the fans. I hope my room is not full of glitter when the AC goes on.

5:30 pm - Artemis and Zatanna beam back from Paris. Yes!

5:34 pm - They hand out presents, and give me a hug for letting them go. Apparently I am an awesome leader. Wow, I wish they thought that when everyone was accusing me in September.

5:36 pm - I see Wally give Artemis a hug, and elbow Robin in the ribs.

5:37 pm - Robin elbows me back. Ow, he has sharp elbows.

5:39 pm - I open my present. They gave me a greenish-blue sweater with a Pisces sign stitched on the chest. I put it on. So cozy.

5:41 pm - Wally laughs at me. I glare at him. My sweater is awesome.

5:50 pm - Red Tornado comes to check on us. I confirm that everyone is healthy and alive. He offers to go find M'gann and Superboy, but I tell him not to bother. Everyone giggles. I do not.

6:20 pm - Everyone gathers in the kitchen for dinner, even the lovebirds. However, Rocket is absent. I do not care enough to go find her, so I send Robin in my stead.

6:21 pm - He does not have to go far. Rocket walks in, covered in glitter and jello. I glare at Wally and Robin. They high five, and Wally puts an arm around Artemis' shoulder. I resist the urge to elbow Robin, settling for Zatanna. She smirks at me knowingly.

6:30 pm - M'gann cleans off Rocket telepathically. Thank you, gods.

6:40 pm - We realize no one cooked dinner. I decide takeout is the best option. I send Wally and Artemis to go get food, at Zatanna's insistence. I can't say I disagree with her reasoning.

6:59 pm - Wally and Artemis return with food. They both look happy. Mission success.

7:43 pm - We finish eating and decide to watch a movie before everyone goes home. I rule that we watch A Little Mermaid.

7:50 pm - With Artemis, M'gann, and Zatanna on my side, the guys don't stand a chance.

7:55 pm - I win.

10:03 pm - The movie ends. Everyone heads to the zeta tubes, and jets home or goes to bed. I head to my room.

10:20 pm - I get into bed, and discover a good gallon of glitter in my sheets.

10:23 pm - I vow to destroy Wally and Robin.

10:27 pm - I flood their rooms. See how they like it now.

11:02 pm - I start to hear screeching. I do not get up.

11:11 pm - I make a wish. I will not tell you my wish.

11:12 pm - Fine. I will tell you. I want a girl, preferably pretty, nice, funny, and spunky.

11:13 pm - This is what defeat feels like, isn't it?

11:17 pm - I revise my wish. The girl can not be Rocket. Maybe she could be blonde.

11:20 pm - I revise my wish. The only requirement is that she must be able to beat Tula in a fight.

11:23 pm - I decide to go to sleep, amid the screams.

11:38 pm - I fall asleep. I seriously need it.

* * *

**Reviews are better than Kaldur having a girlfriend. **

**Who should go next? Thoughts on Kaldur's day?**

**~B**


End file.
